Wednesday, August 23, 2017
8-23-17
I wonder if there's a way to convey what having infant twins and an almost 5 year old is like? Picture two cars crammed into a one car carwash. The carwash is on. You and 4 other people are inside one of the cars and everyone is talking at once. Someone starts to cry. Water is spraying against the car and the thunderous slapping of those chammy flappy things makes it sound like a tornado is overhead, but you have to understand every word that is spoken, so you screw your face up and listen very hard. "What? What are you SAYING? What?" Now every few minutes you have to get out and run through the jets and soapy brushes to the other car where the same 4 people are staring at you. Sometimes you have to physically carry someone from one car to the other. Someone poops. No. too easy. There's a raccoon in one of the cars that you don't know about. No. still too easy.
Ana started working from home in April. The twins arrived on May 4th. Everyone left for their respective jobs and daycare on July 31st. Micah started big boy school. PreK at a montesori charter school. 4 months of exciting chaos.
Micah learned how to ride a bike. Have I mentioned that? Just lost a tooth. Have I mentioned THAT!?
The babies hung out until week 36 and then we decided it was enough of a wait. but while there were still on the inside we noticed how different they were. One baby (Baby B) was a tumbling, flip flopping dynamo, constantly on the move. The other baby (Baby A) seemed almost driven into a corner of the womb by Baby B and sat quietly, waiting to be delivered both literally and also the other way people say that where it means to be rescued. We were nervous about Baby A.
Ana had lots of tests during that time. One of them was a chromosome test to give us a hint at the gender. An XY meant one or both babies were boys. We rolled double x's which was mostly a relief. Gender is tricky. I have a perhaps naive belief that toddler girls are less rambunctious, physically destructive, and more obedient than boys of the same age. I think our girls will learn faster and be more empathetic and thoughtful and have more impulse control than boys their age. As I type this I realize I should probably relax. Too late now I suppose.
Baby A was a uterine wall flower and baby B was hogging up all the space. Also, Baby A wasn't growing as fast as Baby B. Still on track for healthy development, and within acceptable blah blah blah, but by week 30 we began to worry that each additional day on the inside was a danger to her health. We wanted her out so we could make sure she was ok. So that was a constant source of anxiety. And why was baby B so active all the time? what made her so wiggly? Was that normal? Not enough movement, too much movement, all of it was a source of stress, which just starts to ramp up and up and up.
Naming a baby is stressful too. Naming one baby is hard because of all the options. Do you go biblical? Familial? Some folks shake free from the bonds of convention and go phonetic. One shot at a name that they get to love or hate forever. But two names. two good ass names. How do you do that?
Ana had Ruby Lee picked out before she met me. Some strong Norse woman on her Mom's side named Rubylee all one word. There was also Dorkus in the pool of available family names. I fear young Dorkus would have found Savannah to be a hard place. Harder on a Dorkus than a Ruby for sure. Ruby Lee felt vivacious and fun. A singer in the 20s. A sparkly thing. It made sense to give that name to the thing making loop de loops inside Ana's body. Baby A took some thinking.
I wanted to honor my sweet dead mother Nancy. But you can't name a baby Dead Nancy these days. I googled it and wikipedia says the name means Grace (thus we get Nancy Grace). For a while I thought Baby A might be a Grace. I also thought it might be nice to remember my sweet dead grandmother Beryl. So that was on the table too. Beryl is a gem, Ruby is a gem. You get the idea. Then I found out my grandmother's middle name was Lorraine (A name I've always loved, coincidentally). And when I googled Lorraine I learned it was a region in France. The largest city in the Lorraine region of France? Nancy. Voila as the people of Nancy might say. We settled on Rose Lorraine. A name that could be sweet and gentle like a grandma, but I like to think has depth of meaning if you take the time to see it.
Ana started working from home in April. The twins arrived on May 4th. Everyone left for their respective jobs and daycare on July 31st. Micah started big boy school. PreK at a montesori charter school. 4 months of exciting chaos.
Micah learned how to ride a bike. Have I mentioned that? Just lost a tooth. Have I mentioned THAT!?
The babies hung out until week 36 and then we decided it was enough of a wait. but while there were still on the inside we noticed how different they were. One baby (Baby B) was a tumbling, flip flopping dynamo, constantly on the move. The other baby (Baby A) seemed almost driven into a corner of the womb by Baby B and sat quietly, waiting to be delivered both literally and also the other way people say that where it means to be rescued. We were nervous about Baby A.
Ana had lots of tests during that time. One of them was a chromosome test to give us a hint at the gender. An XY meant one or both babies were boys. We rolled double x's which was mostly a relief. Gender is tricky. I have a perhaps naive belief that toddler girls are less rambunctious, physically destructive, and more obedient than boys of the same age. I think our girls will learn faster and be more empathetic and thoughtful and have more impulse control than boys their age. As I type this I realize I should probably relax. Too late now I suppose.
Baby A was a uterine wall flower and baby B was hogging up all the space. Also, Baby A wasn't growing as fast as Baby B. Still on track for healthy development, and within acceptable blah blah blah, but by week 30 we began to worry that each additional day on the inside was a danger to her health. We wanted her out so we could make sure she was ok. So that was a constant source of anxiety. And why was baby B so active all the time? what made her so wiggly? Was that normal? Not enough movement, too much movement, all of it was a source of stress, which just starts to ramp up and up and up.
Naming a baby is stressful too. Naming one baby is hard because of all the options. Do you go biblical? Familial? Some folks shake free from the bonds of convention and go phonetic. One shot at a name that they get to love or hate forever. But two names. two good ass names. How do you do that?
Ana had Ruby Lee picked out before she met me. Some strong Norse woman on her Mom's side named Rubylee all one word. There was also Dorkus in the pool of available family names. I fear young Dorkus would have found Savannah to be a hard place. Harder on a Dorkus than a Ruby for sure. Ruby Lee felt vivacious and fun. A singer in the 20s. A sparkly thing. It made sense to give that name to the thing making loop de loops inside Ana's body. Baby A took some thinking.
I wanted to honor my sweet dead mother Nancy. But you can't name a baby Dead Nancy these days. I googled it and wikipedia says the name means Grace (thus we get Nancy Grace). For a while I thought Baby A might be a Grace. I also thought it might be nice to remember my sweet dead grandmother Beryl. So that was on the table too. Beryl is a gem, Ruby is a gem. You get the idea. Then I found out my grandmother's middle name was Lorraine (A name I've always loved, coincidentally). And when I googled Lorraine I learned it was a region in France. The largest city in the Lorraine region of France? Nancy. Voila as the people of Nancy might say. We settled on Rose Lorraine. A name that could be sweet and gentle like a grandma, but I like to think has depth of meaning if you take the time to see it.
