Thursday, April 14, 2005
Part Duex
when i dropped my class with Professor X (as he shall be known) i sent him an email telling him how sorry i was to have to leave, but good luck with the rest of his semester. Such is my insane need to please that, even after i call him a grandstanding, class winging, hotty pants, online for all the world to see, i still smile and wave everytime i pass by, him seated, smoking, a distant look in his eye as if scanning the horizon for life's quiet mystery until finally, a glint of recognition and a slow nod.
Being me is a complex thing. today, i saw a dog in the quad. it was a beautiful puppy, maybe some kind of husky-lab mix, one blue eye, one brown. I've seen this dog for over a week now, tied to at tree in the quad, no owner in sight, without food or water. now of course it hasnt been there all night, im sure that someone takes the dog with them to school, ties them to a tree while they sit in class and in an hour or so they come out and take the dog home. some might say that a dog can sit quietly for an hour on a cool spring day without incident. well, you people can go fuck yourselves.
the problem is, i am incapable of directly creating conflict. i cant just wait for the owners to show up for their dog and yell at them for being neglectful, that would make me uncomfortable. instead i call campus security, and when they tell me there's nothing i can do but call animal control (which seems to me to be a big step to take), i'd rather call animal control than deal with the yelling and the fear of looking dumb. which is what i did. call animal control that is. but these kind of resolutions always leave loose ends. its never just a phone call. i know somehow this puppy will end up biting me in the ass.
* * * *
i sat waiting outside my advisors office, my mind a thousand miles away from any of my previous weaslings, down the hall bounds Professor X.
"Joel!" he was animated, happy to see me.
His hand raised up to slap me five, and as i presented mine, low in my seat, his arm came down like a guilotine.
"man, im glad you like my buns but im sorry you didnt care for my class."
i was still holding his hand, i heard a desperate rushing sound come from somewhere deep inside. I think i'd been holding my breath and i choked for air.
"my asthma" i offered.
i do remember that, in the end, i was the one that apologized. no hard feelings and all that sort of thing, i think i even offered to make it up to him and buy him a beer next time i saw him at the pub (could i possibly have used the word pub?).
life marches onward, all the while standing still.
i still wave like an idiot everytime i see professor x. and he, dignity intact, cooly dips his head.
Being me is a complex thing. today, i saw a dog in the quad. it was a beautiful puppy, maybe some kind of husky-lab mix, one blue eye, one brown. I've seen this dog for over a week now, tied to at tree in the quad, no owner in sight, without food or water. now of course it hasnt been there all night, im sure that someone takes the dog with them to school, ties them to a tree while they sit in class and in an hour or so they come out and take the dog home. some might say that a dog can sit quietly for an hour on a cool spring day without incident. well, you people can go fuck yourselves.
the problem is, i am incapable of directly creating conflict. i cant just wait for the owners to show up for their dog and yell at them for being neglectful, that would make me uncomfortable. instead i call campus security, and when they tell me there's nothing i can do but call animal control (which seems to me to be a big step to take), i'd rather call animal control than deal with the yelling and the fear of looking dumb. which is what i did. call animal control that is. but these kind of resolutions always leave loose ends. its never just a phone call. i know somehow this puppy will end up biting me in the ass.
* * * *
i sat waiting outside my advisors office, my mind a thousand miles away from any of my previous weaslings, down the hall bounds Professor X.
"Joel!" he was animated, happy to see me.
His hand raised up to slap me five, and as i presented mine, low in my seat, his arm came down like a guilotine.
"man, im glad you like my buns but im sorry you didnt care for my class."
i was still holding his hand, i heard a desperate rushing sound come from somewhere deep inside. I think i'd been holding my breath and i choked for air.
"my asthma" i offered.
i do remember that, in the end, i was the one that apologized. no hard feelings and all that sort of thing, i think i even offered to make it up to him and buy him a beer next time i saw him at the pub (could i possibly have used the word pub?).
life marches onward, all the while standing still.
i still wave like an idiot everytime i see professor x. and he, dignity intact, cooly dips his head.
# posted by joel @ 12:08 PM 
