The Joel Train

I've been in the weight watchers program for just shy of a year now.  I'm down 43 pounds since I started, and I'm thrilled and terrified at the same time.  Losing weight isn't the difficult part.  Its easy to go hard after something for 3 months, or 6 months, especially once you start to see results.  There's a wonderful high to it, seeing your body change and the attention you get because of it.  But as you get closer to your goal and people get used to the "new" you, it turns into a long trudging slog.  The changes start to slow, and it takes just as much effort to just not gain weight as it did to lose it.  And of course there's the very real fear of losing control and ending up heavier than when I started.

The New York Times ran an article last week about a medical study tracking all the contestants in a past season of The Biggest Loser.  Of the 12 or so they tracked, only 2 managed to maintain their end of season weight.  Some were worse off than when they started the show.  The doctors monitored each of them for several years and noticed that their metabolism was depressed compared to someone of similar size and age.  These results spanned the entire group.  The balance between calories burned and consumed was negatively impacted as a result of their extreme weight loss.  Their bodies wont allow them to stay thin.  To maintain the consumed/burned equilibrium they must operate in a what would naturally be a calorie deficit, which creates intense sensations of hunger, which lead to binges, and of course, since these people burn fewer calories because of their shitty metabolism, the pounds pile on.  And all that before adding in any emotional component to this nightmare.

So I'm terrified my body will fight back.    That my metabolism will tank and the effort I put forth today won't be enough tomorrow.  But whatever.  I feel good and am grateful for today.