Monday, May 16, 2016
I'm going to build a fence.
I'm going to build a fence. It's going to be a horizontal fence, I know that much. And it will replace the chain link fence that surrounds the back yard. I've never built a fence before. I made some bookshelves once, ten years ago, but so far no fences.
Generally you build a fence by sinking posts into the ground. Then you nail or screw 2x4 boards between the posts, and you nail the pickets, the actual fence part, to the boards. For me, each phase of fence building is basically impossible, but my hope is that if I lay out the steps here a plan may emerge to demystify the whole thing.
Disassembly:
I'll need to remove the existing fence in order to replace it with the new one. I've tried this before. The previous home owner had a weird dog pen that I removed a few weeks ago. It went pretty well. I spent hours carefully unscrewing everything and piling it up. I cut the poles into manageable lengths and loaded them into our little Mazda minivan. I spent probably 3 hours back and forth loading the poles and the rolled up chain link and bagging up the hardware. I drove to Fortune Recycling where I dumped the pieces into a large cast iron bin. A guy in forklift with a built in scale weighed the scrap metal and handed me a ticket which I took to the office. My fence weighed 180 pounds for which I received 6 dollars and 12 cents.
Our neighbors on both sides have dogs. I'm not sure how I'll tackle removing those sections of fence. It seems like I'd have to work it out with them. Perhaps via direct communication with eye contact and smiling and everything. I'll have to think about it some. This is a challenging part of the construction process. On the left side, I'm worried that it will hurt my neighbor's feelings if we put up a fence. Like it means we don't want to see them. Or we think they are shitty somehow. They have a son that is a year younger than Micah. I worry putting up a fence will appear like we are judging them. Not as bad parents exactly, but certainly not great parents. They have really big dogs. Troublingly big. Why do dogs need to be so big? Are bear hunting dogs still necessary? Well, that's what this fence is for. It's not about our neighbors as people. They seem fine. It's their bear hunting dogs that I need to screen out with a tasteful, well constructed horizontal fence. But I don't think I can take down the old fence without being pulled apart by their giant, probably very sweet, monster dogs. AlsoI think it would wound my neighbors on a person level. I don't think I can start on that side.
Our neighbors on the right, Sarah and Chris, have more appropriately sized pets. A little one and a medium sized one. I really admire them as industrious and good natured people. They spent all last year making their backyard beautiful. First they built their own fence against the alley, then they put sod in, and added two patio spaces. They hung cafe lights and at night it's like a little oasis back there. They're the ones who suggested we put up a fence between our yards. I never wanted it. We already have a perfectly fine, 40 year old chain link fence. They say it's too low and one of their dogs might jump it and run off. I wonder if maybe they think we're doing a bad job with Micah. I haven't brought it up. It's just really painful. How am I supposed to not miss them? Also there are trees along that fence line that might make digging post holes a bear. I really think the best option is to start with the back section along the alley.
Posts:
With a horizontal fence, posts should be 6 feet apart. Any further and the horizontal boards will twist. I'll find the start and end point of my fence. Once I've placed those posts and secured them with concrete, I'll run a string between the two and pull it tight. This will help me lay out the remaining intermediate posts at 6 feet intervals.
Slats:
I think you just screw them into the posts. I don't know. You have to buy a lot of them. Why don't they like me? I have literally only been awesome to them.
Staining and trim:
Whatever. I hate this.
Generally you build a fence by sinking posts into the ground. Then you nail or screw 2x4 boards between the posts, and you nail the pickets, the actual fence part, to the boards. For me, each phase of fence building is basically impossible, but my hope is that if I lay out the steps here a plan may emerge to demystify the whole thing.
Disassembly:
I'll need to remove the existing fence in order to replace it with the new one. I've tried this before. The previous home owner had a weird dog pen that I removed a few weeks ago. It went pretty well. I spent hours carefully unscrewing everything and piling it up. I cut the poles into manageable lengths and loaded them into our little Mazda minivan. I spent probably 3 hours back and forth loading the poles and the rolled up chain link and bagging up the hardware. I drove to Fortune Recycling where I dumped the pieces into a large cast iron bin. A guy in forklift with a built in scale weighed the scrap metal and handed me a ticket which I took to the office. My fence weighed 180 pounds for which I received 6 dollars and 12 cents.
Our neighbors on both sides have dogs. I'm not sure how I'll tackle removing those sections of fence. It seems like I'd have to work it out with them. Perhaps via direct communication with eye contact and smiling and everything. I'll have to think about it some. This is a challenging part of the construction process. On the left side, I'm worried that it will hurt my neighbor's feelings if we put up a fence. Like it means we don't want to see them. Or we think they are shitty somehow. They have a son that is a year younger than Micah. I worry putting up a fence will appear like we are judging them. Not as bad parents exactly, but certainly not great parents. They have really big dogs. Troublingly big. Why do dogs need to be so big? Are bear hunting dogs still necessary? Well, that's what this fence is for. It's not about our neighbors as people. They seem fine. It's their bear hunting dogs that I need to screen out with a tasteful, well constructed horizontal fence. But I don't think I can take down the old fence without being pulled apart by their giant, probably very sweet, monster dogs. AlsoI think it would wound my neighbors on a person level. I don't think I can start on that side.
Our neighbors on the right, Sarah and Chris, have more appropriately sized pets. A little one and a medium sized one. I really admire them as industrious and good natured people. They spent all last year making their backyard beautiful. First they built their own fence against the alley, then they put sod in, and added two patio spaces. They hung cafe lights and at night it's like a little oasis back there. They're the ones who suggested we put up a fence between our yards. I never wanted it. We already have a perfectly fine, 40 year old chain link fence. They say it's too low and one of their dogs might jump it and run off. I wonder if maybe they think we're doing a bad job with Micah. I haven't brought it up. It's just really painful. How am I supposed to not miss them? Also there are trees along that fence line that might make digging post holes a bear. I really think the best option is to start with the back section along the alley.
Posts:
With a horizontal fence, posts should be 6 feet apart. Any further and the horizontal boards will twist. I'll find the start and end point of my fence. Once I've placed those posts and secured them with concrete, I'll run a string between the two and pull it tight. This will help me lay out the remaining intermediate posts at 6 feet intervals.
Slats:
I think you just screw them into the posts. I don't know. You have to buy a lot of them. Why don't they like me? I have literally only been awesome to them.
Staining and trim:
Whatever. I hate this.
# posted by joel @ 8:12 AM 
