The Joel Train

I spent the long Father's day weekend in Asheville.  I feel lost when I go back there.  We left and now can't find our way back.  So trips there make me feel sad a bit.  Also everything is uphill, which means carrying my 40 pound child uphill.  Micah doesn't walk here in flatville, so he's sure as shit not going to walk in Asheville.  

We said goodbye to Micah's pacifier this weekend.  We just plumb forgot to bring one and so he slept for 3 nights in Asheville without it.  And he was fine!  I'm sure he was worn out by the travel.  He went down at the hotel without a problem.  Of course once we got home he panicked.  Actually I think what I saw was someone experiencing a loss.  He sobbed like I've never seen.  He demanded to see the empty place where the pacey's were kept.  Ana told him that the pacey fairy came for them while we were out of town.  She'd had a conversation with Micah's dentist and doctor and they'd all agreed it was time.  So she floated into the house and collected all the pacey's to give to a tiny baby who really needs it.  Ana was so sweet and gentle with him and he quieted down, soothed by the story and her calming voice.  

He slept like a real asshole though.  All the crying stuffed his nose up.  Even without the pacey, he still couldn't breath well and was up and down all night.  he sleeps pressed against me.  It doesn't matter how big or small the bed is.  So when he is restless, he spreads it around.

Maybe that's why I had a couple of good dreams.  I skipped the beneficial sleep cycles and went straight into the weird place.  Two nasa pilots, Mac and Steve flew a modified F16 into space.  I think they were abducted by aliens with flat transparent faces where pulsing organs slowly wiggled underneath.  Steve escapes and races down a hallway, past silent, staring aliens.  The hallway terminates at an elevator which opens.  It's not very deep, maybe 2 feet, and there are no lights so that when it closes on Steve it feels like a coffin.  When the doors open, he's deep inside the NASA building.

Then a man at press briefing explains that Steve took the elevator back up to rescue Mac.  He was successful, but went mad in the process.

I had another dream that I was eating in a restaurant with Ms. Felicia, Micah's first daycare provider.  I ordered a salad.  It came to the table as a complete head of lettuce.  I began to eat it and noticed that all the leaves were stapled together.  And there were staples at the base where it was separated from the root.  I confronted the chef about this.  He screamed at me.  He took off his chef's jacket and we had a physical altercation.  He did not comp me the salad.

This morning I read a recap about the latest episode of game of thrones.  Now that the television show's narrative is beyond the last book written by GRRM, it seems that the stories are becoming less rich and more pulpy.  I feel bad for GRRM that his epic is being spoiled without the nuance that he'd bring in the books.  And take that with a grain of salt.  Sometimes the author seems like he has too much ground to cover to get to the big reveal at the finish.  And maybe he doesn't now how to close that gap.  But it's his story to tell and I feel bad that he's getting scooped.

And then there's that They Might Be Giants line:  

No one in the world Ever gets what they want And that is beautiful / Everybody dies Frustrated and sad And that is beautiful

As I get older, I find that thought to be less and less romantic.