The Joel Train

so here something that keeps happening to me that i find interesting.

im not a bad student. in fact, more times than not, i end up helping other students get a concept or figure out a problem. sometimes there's a group of students, and i have to go to the board so everybody can see. i secretly get a big fat boner everytime this happens. so i turn to the group and slowly unbutton my pants and...oh. sorry, i forgot which blog this was...

anywho, i really enjoy the pseudo teaching i get to do from time to time. I get a good response each time i do it, someone invariably asks if i plan to be a teacher. I never know how to answer that.

i like teaching because it combines the center of attention thing with the "listen to me cause i know what im talking about" thing. i'd like to try my hand at teaching, maybe someday i'll get to be a highschool economics teacher, or teach accounting at community college. i couldnt teach grade school though. i havent told my wife this, but most little kids i want to secretly tie up and drag behind the car. I do love the kids, i just wish they'd shut the hell up and keep still.

maybe im just bitter. today is my wife's last day at work. she's spent the last 7 years at the local jewish community center as a preschool teacher. seven years of raising other people's children. parents drop their kids off at 6 weeks old, so that they can rush back to their jobs and feel productive. meanwhile the guilt of abandoning these kids in daycare for 10 hours a day keeps them from saying no when they do see them. so what do you get? a bunch of sweet faced monsters that cant behave cause they're all secretly pissed at their parents. teenage angst strikes pretty young these days.

Meanwhile Ana, who actually spends more time with these babies than the parents, is treated like a fucking servant. I think its amazing how these rich jcc moms get all buddy buddy with the preschool teachers. the teacher thinks she's being treated like a peer, when really the mom just needs a babysitter for saturday night. i cant stand it.

im sure she'll enjoy getting to take a break from child care. now we'll be able to focus all our energy on getting our multilevel marketing business off the ground.

thats what i really like about mlm, you never have to worry someones being nice to you just cause they want something.

what...

i fell asleep in physics again today.  We have 3 days left in the semester and i have yet to figure out how to stay awake in his class.  my eyes cross and i know im in trouble.  then my head starts to sway.  i must look like a vicious cobra, my eyes crossed, head swaying in a long arc from side to side.  i wonder what my physics professor must think.  after i snap out of it i always look up at him to see if he noticed.  He doesnt really make eye contact with me anymore.

i managed to lift 205 lbs on the bench press yesterday. i was really excited about it when i did it.  ive been lifting weights for ten weeks trying to break the 200 mark.  i was alittle disappointed though. the two guys ive been working out with, roger and raphael, couldnt take the test.  Roger, an ox like fella, blew a blood vessel in his head a few weeks ago (swear to god) and his attendance in class has been spotty at best.  Raphael hurt his arm over the weekend arm wrestling ("at least i beat him!").  Even with just one arm, he still managed to cream me in basketball.

 

 

Its around 11:30.   My wife comes home from raleigh tomorrow.  She's been gone all weekend.  I go through the same cycle everytime she goes out of town.  At first i get excited, and think of all the stuff im going to do, all the stuff i cant do normally. 

Of course since this consists of listening to Indigo Girls CDs and watching buffy the vampire slayer,  I have to lower the blinds so the punk rock kids next door can't see.

OH! i just remembered something!  I saw an incredible movie this weekend.  Its called "Woman of the Dune." its Japanese, about a guy collecting bugs in some remote fishing village.  He misses the last bus back to civilization and has to spend the night with one of the locals.  So the villagers take him to the home of a widow, she lives in the bottom of a sand dune.  He has to climb down a rope ladder to get to her house, the walls of the dune are so steep.  In the morning he wakes up and finds the rope ladder is gone.  He's trapped.  Really good movie.

so after a few days of folk rock and foreign films i get alittle sad, and miss my sweet beautiful wife.  Suddenly im Jimmy Stewart in "Its a Wonderful Life"  I realize what a miserable sack i am without her.

I want to live! I WANT TO LIVE!

then, out of nowhere i get this idea,  Im going to clean this whole damn house, from top to bottom!  Im going to make this place shine.  A bright shining testament of my love to Ana.

So i grab a handful of trashbags and the broom and dust pan and i head to the living room.
"whats on tv? oh, bowling!"
three hours later im watching the videogame channel and sweeping during comercials.

so its 11:30 and i've got gotta get back to proving my love.
this happens every time.

 

did you know that some fish eat dung?  I just saw something about it on the national geographic channel.  Apparently hippos are hounded by these fish that just hang out waiting for a meal.  I tip my hat to the hippos for that kind of focus. 

The first night of Bele Chere was last night.  De La Soul was going to play and my wife (who apparently loves this group) was disappointed that she couldnt make it (babysitting).  So I decided I would walk downtown and check them out. 

Bele chere is this once a year street party where they close off the center of the city to traffic and thousands of people hit the streets.  At first you just wander around looking at stuff, trying to find someone you know in the sea of people. then something dawns on you.  All of downtown is just one big hill.  Walking here is exhausting!  i decided to cut things short and head over to where the band was going to play. 

I did stop off at a bar.  Vincent's Ear, home of the 24 oz PBR.  It was kind of nice, sitting out in the courtyard, drinking my beer and watching all the people walk by.  A couple of guys walked over and tried to sell me some oxy-cotin.  Sonny and Ricky.  ricky was just out of prison.  33 years for killing his younger brother when he was 15.  Seemed nice though. A bit of mumbler.  I decided to head back to the festival.

So i find the street where the stage is set up and work my way into the crowd.  I can see the stage pretty well, im there early, the prior band is still playing their encore.  the music ends and the roadies tear down the stage.  everything appears to be fine.

the next set of roadies hit the stage and begin to set up. the "between set" music changes from bluegrass to hip hop, things seem to be going well.

40 minutes go by. 

standing  in the hot crowd slowly being packed like sardines i wonder  if i just leaned back, could i take a nap? I keep watching moms with tiny baby's push their way through the crowd.  Dads holding their strollers overhead.  why would you take your baby to something like this? Am I in some kind of bizzaro world? 

Finally the music stops and everybody screams. okay. here we go. 

"Are you Ready to Get this thing Started!!  well it should be any minute, they're on their way from the airport now."

son of a bitch.

 

someone spit in the waterfountain at work today.  I hate that.  I went to go fill up my reliv cup with water and there it was.  It wouldnt be so bad if the wad of spit didnt look so much like the bubbles that form in the swirling waters of my cup.  Still, a man's  gotta drink.   

I've noticed that my hair is alot thinner lately then it was even just a few months ago.  I was at a birthday party with my wife, and when I stumbled into the bathroom I was shocked at my bald ass head staring back at me from the mirror.  I told myself when i was younger that, should i ever start to bald, I'd just shave my head and be done with it.  but as i've gotten older, i've come to realize that my head is about three times too big for my tiny little face.  Its freakish really, and nothing accentuates this more than a cleanly shaven head.  So now i just brush my hair over.  To the side really.  Not "over".  not yet anyway. 

i could buy some hair.  have it grafted to my forhead.  but at this point in my life i could only afford an eyebrow's worth, and thats not going to cover it.  so to speak.

I played basket ball today.  I know its "basketball", but i havent found a way to link the two in any kind of satisfying way yet, so i'll leave the space. 

 I actually really like the game.  My friend Raphael is teaching me how to play.  Im not terrible.  Well, actually i am terrible, but im enthusiastic, which is good.  Im 5'9'' and pretty stocky, but since i cant see how silly i look, i tend to have a good time. 

So Im not 18 anymore, my hair is falling out and im clumsy and get winded easily. but everytime i look in the mirror, its a shock.  when does that quit happening?

thats all i got tonight...I'll try to do better tomorrow.

So i guess i've decided to start this weblog in the shadow of mr mark pitts.  his weblog has inspired me to create a mundane collection of my daily doings.  This is going to be great, because i just started working at the media center here at UNCA were i'll be attending school in the fall, and i have literally hours of nothing to do.  I hope you enjoy stories about irratiable bowel syndrome and multilevel marketing mishaps (or MLMM) and lots of examples of poor spelling.  well, here goes.

usually  i ride my bike to school, today i drove because i spent 2 hours typing up my economics notes for some lady i dont know in the front row.  I spent two hours typing them, and then when i gave them to her i wanted to kind of halfway teach them to her, so i sat down to explain them.  "oh. well, you didnt have to do that" and then right in the middle she cut me off and said "you know, i actually have alot of this already" and then turned in her seat. 

Ive been taking my reliv shakes with some fiberstuff in them.  I started yesterday and i felt sick and woozy.  I happend to speak with my reliv lady and when i told her about it she asked me how much i was putting in to each shake..."well, a full scoop"   so i guess i was using 4 times the amount i needed in each shake.  Im suposed to work my way up to the full scoop.  My wife and i agree that following the advice of our supplier is for sissys.  Were going to keep taking the full scoop like men. Woozy, sickly men.

School is almost out for the summer.  Im taking five classes, a literature class, two economics classes and a physics class, and weightlifting, but that doesnt really count.  Im starting to freak out alittle, i have 4 finals all on the same day.  I havent really studied for any of my classes all semester, things were spread out enough that i havent really been slammed, so im alittle worried that i havent actually learned anything this summer.

oh...since about 4pm i've had a junior bacon cheeseburger, 5 nuggets, a slice of pizza, a fried apple pie and some peach cobbler. thats in a four hour span.

Im sure i'll stream line this biatch once i get into it.  Until then.